We have all been there at some point.
You are freaking out because of what has happened to you – what someone did to you, said to you, or probably didn’t do for you. And you feel pissed off, defeated, or downright terrified. Your emotions have become overpowering and are controlling you rather than the other way around.
We encounter situations like these every day.
The most important presentation of your life is minutes away, and anxiety clouds your senses. A project deadline is close, but stress is literally killing your productivity. You are in one of those shouting matches with your better half, and your repressed anger threatens to ruin your relationship. Your emotions are at war within you, but you must put them aside and take charge of your life. You need to be level-headed.
But how do you do it? How do you control your emotions at the moment when they have gotten completely and utterly out of hand?
Let us dive deeper into some of the most effective solutions on how to control your emotions and feelings. We will explore various ideas, from mindfulness to self-improvement strategies and much more. And do you know the best part? These solutions are not just effective but also super easy to incorporate into your daily life and see immediate results.
So if you are looking to learn how to control your emotions and take back the reigns of your life, let’s get started.
Effective Solutions On How To Control Emotions And Feelings
1. Stop avoiding your feelings.
The very first solution on how to control your emotions and feelings is to stop avoiding them. When a wave of emotions comes their way, most people choose to repress them and look the other way around. They try emotional eating. Or a glass of wine. Or Netflix. They do every possible thing that helps them avoid the guilt, shame, anger, fear, or *insert any other uncomfortable emotion* that they are feeling currently. But take it from us; that is definitely not a coping mechanism. In fact, it is a pretty counterproductive and damaging one, to say the least.
So what do you do instead? Well, start with feeling your feelings, at the very least. And to do that, you need to avoid these numbing techniques (cue food, wine, etc.). To begin with, start identifying your characteristic ‘emotion-avoiding’ behaviors. Try to look for anything you consciously or unconsciously do to avoid facing your emotions.
Now that you have a comprehensive list of what-not-to-do when emotions consume you, you can safely go on to the next solution on how to control your feelings and emotions.
2. Notice and name what you feel.
While it may sound weird, but funnily enough, most of us aren’t really in the habit of having a heart-to-heart without feelings. Most of the time, we fail to understand what we are feeling and brush it off. But if you want to learn how to control your emotions and feelings, an integral skill to develop is noticing and naming what you feel.
Try getting more aware of your physical reactions. Tune in with yourself frequently. What parts of your body feel sensations? Is your stomach upset? Is your heart racing? Do you feel a weird tension at the back of your head? Your physical symptoms can be important clues about what you feel inside. Additionally, focusing on your physical symptoms can distract your focus and let the intensity of your emotions subside.
After noticing and understanding what you feel, the ability to name your emotions is the next step in learning how to control your emotions and feelings. If you feel more than one emotion at a time, don’t hesitate to name them all. Naming your emotions gives them a tangible form, which makes dealing with them easier.
3. Don’t judge your feelings.
Now, this is a pretty big one. Most of the time, we jump to thinking about our feelings about a certain emotion we had. Think of it this way: you are angry at something. But instead of accepting anger and feeling that emotion, you start to feel ashamed about feeling angry. You are sad that you lost a soccer game but then immediately feel guilty about being sad over such a petty thing. You feel alone because your friends had a party without you, but immediately you chastise yourself for being such a baby. Do you get the point now?
We know it is tough but try to practice self-compassion while looking at your emotions. Learn to be able to sit with your emotions, not top them off with another heavy emotion, and think about what that emotion says about you as a person. Learning to accept your emotions and not judge them is an essential step in learning how to control your emotions at the moment when they feel overwhelming.
4. Try to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.
We live in a world that constantly looks down upon people who feel their emotions deeply. Emotions are thought to be an unnecessary burden in our lives. But it is so not the case. Emotions are valuable pieces of information. Emotions can give you helpful directions and help you identify your needs at a particular moment. Tuning in on your emotions and understanding what they are trying to tell you can be extremely helpful in the longer run.
5. Find healthy ways to express your emotions.
This is the point in learning how to control your emotions when you are about to choose your adventure territory. The best way to react to an emotion differs from person to person. The only criterion considered helpful in most situations is expressing your emotions and not letting them bottle up inside you.
To express your emotions safely, you can journal, vent out to a friend, have a good crying session, paint your feeling out, rip apart bits of paper, and the list goes on and on. A lot of people try to repress their emotions. However, one of the most important lessons in how to control your emotions is to understand that real relief comes through expressing and not repressing. This way, you are feeling frequent but small bouts of emotions rather than feeling numb, numb, numb, and then exploding suddenly.
6. Learn to accept that it is okay to hit the snooze button on your feelings from time to time.
Let’s be real. While learning how to control your feelings is great, we can’t always have the time to deal with them right when they occur. In those situations, it is still important to go through the first few steps of understanding and naming your emotions. However, it is okay to tell yourself to stop after these steps. It is okay to say that, yes, I am sad and extremely upset, but I will look into it later. The only criterion in this is that you actually deal with it later and not bail on the process altogether.
All of these steps in learning how to control your feelings can sound like a lot. But the point is, the more you will do it, the easier and more automatic it will feel. Yes, it won’t probably take away the pain and discomfort of negative emotions, but it will surely help make dealing with them easier.
Learning how to control your feelings and emotions can be tough. But with a little patience, practice, and self-compassion, you will be able to get started on the journey in no time. Always remember that feeling intense emotions and being overwhelmed by them is normal. The whole point boils down to how you deal with them.
We hope these effective solutions on how to control your emotions at the moment when they feel overpowering will make your life a little bit easier day by day.
Emotional regulation is important to your mental well-being. If you feel that your emotions have been overpowering every aspect of your life and affecting your regular functioning, it is time to seek professional help. Professional help is now easier than ever with the advent of online therapy platforms. To learn more about them, click here.
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