Advice on how to regain self-respect is ubiquitous these days. Everyone understands the importance of developing self-respect, yet actually working on it is really, really tough.
In fact, learning how to develop self-respect is one of the hardest things you will ever do!
Because it’s strange, confusing, and even lonely sometimes. It’s being aware of your boundaries and limits no matter where you are. It means having a certain regard and confidence about your abilities, values, and dignity. It means knowing what you value and what you will stand up for, even if you are alone on that side.
We have all been this person from time to time – someone who puts up with other people’s actions at the expense of our mental peace. You constantly make excuses for the disrespect coming your way. Especially when it happens around people you love, self-respect becomes a completely obsolete concept.
You are blinded by the low expectations and standards you have set for yourself to understand that people and situations are really hurting you.
We have all been stuck in this vicious cycle at some point, and it’s hard to make sense of your situation until you genuinely reflect. And once you do, you’ll understand that just standing up for yourself and learning how to regain your self-respect would have made ALL the difference for you during this point in your life.
This is exactly why learning how to develop self-respect is so important. It gives you a greater sense of awareness, improves your ability to feel genuine happiness, and allows you to establish strong boundaries in your life – all of which are essential for your mental health and well-being.
But what do you do to improve your self-respect?
We have got you covered. In this blog post, we will provide you with actionable and non-intimidating tips on how to increase your self-respect. Let’s dive in.
But First, Why Do People Struggle To Develop Self-Respect?
There are multiple reasons why people find it hard to learn how to regain self-respect. It’s mainly because we aren’t really taught what to do to improve self-respect. Nor do we have great role models who we can look up to. Additionally, we are all a little confused about what self-respect truly means to us and the fact that we are worthy of it.
A lack of self-respect can arise due to a lot of factors. Here are some common ones that affect most people:
1. Adverse childhood experiences
Being raised in an unhealthy and unsupportive environment is one of the primary reasons why people struggle to develop self-respect. Children who grow up in a home where someone is constantly abused might accept that they aren’t deserving of love and respect. As they grow up internalizing these emotions and ideas, it gets harder to challenge and reframe them.
2. Failures and mistakes.
Nothing hits your self-respect as much as failures and past mistakes. The feeling of letting yourself or the people you love down can be parasitic on your self-respect. You start to define your life and identity around those mistakes. And from there on, no matter what you do or achieve, you never feel deserving of self-respect, love, or admiration.
3. Constant comparison.
Another important reason why people lack self-respect is that we live in a world that forces us to compare ourselves with others constantly. And as you are sucked into this toxic cycle, you understand that you feel always feel mediocre because your success, failure, and happiness are not defined by your capabilities. They are actually defined by the actions of other people.
So, How Does A Lack Of Self-Respect Affect Your Life?
A lack of self-respect means can translate into multiple pitfalls for you. These include:
1. Constantly reliance on external validation.
When you don’t have the required self-respect within you, you are constantly on the lookout to seek validation from others. This means other people’s opinions define how you feel about yourself. Eventually, you will have no idea or awareness of who you are because of the lies you are surrounded by.
2. You will have a negative self-view.
When you don’t respect yourself, you develop a negative perception of yourself. You always nitpick your faults while constantly downplaying your achievements. You refuse to believe the good things in life. This way, you might continuously engage in self-destructive behaviors which are unhealthy for you in the long run.
3. You develop unhealthy personal relationships.
Learning how to regain your self-respect is a benchmark in healthy and supportive relationships. If you don’t respect yourself, you might never be able to be yourself in any of your relationships. You might also struggle to look beyond your lack of self-respect and concentrate on your partner or loved ones.
So, What Do You Do To Improve Your Self-Respect?
Now that you understand what self-respect is and how the lack of it can affect your life, let’s dive into how you can avoid these adverse outcomes and learn how to regain your self-respect.
1. Acknowledge that you don’t respect yourself.
“You don’t respect yourself.”
It stings a little to hear or read that about yourself, right? Trust us when we say that accepting it is even more complicated.
Therefore, the first tip on how to improve your self-respect is to accept that you don’t really respect yourself in this moment. Accepting a problem is the first step toward bringing any tangible change. So, when you accept that you don’t currently hold yourself in the right regard, you open yourself up to solutions.
2. Work on understanding and identifying your values.
We believe that an important part of learning how to develop self-respect is understanding what you want. If you don’t know what you want, you might not be able to explain or articulate that to others around you.
Therefore, to learn how to increase self-respect, revisit your values. Clarify what your values truly are. If you don’t know where to start, think about losing everything you have currently and starting afresh. Ask yourself questions like:
- What is important to me?
- What is something non-negotiable for me?
- Why do you settle for us?
- What makes you happy?
3. Avoid putting yourself down.
Therefore, to learn how to regain self-respect, stop trying to put yourself down to make yourself or others feel better. You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness. And to communicate this to the world, you need to start with yourself.
Simply put, make a conscious effort to change how you talk about and to yourself.
4. Surround yourself with people who treat you right.
We often mirror the actions and behaviors of people who we love. Therefore, when people around you treat you respectfully, you internalize those feelings. The more it happens, the more you imbibe them in your life.
Eventually, you get to a point where you understand that you deserve a certain level of regard and respect; that’s when you develop enough self-esteem. Equipped with this, you will start respecting yourself as a value system in life.
Therefore, a practical tip on how to regain self-respect is to surround yourself with people who will treat you right. Because frankly, in the initial stages, it’s pretty daunting to learn how to develop self-respect around people who are particularly disrespectful toward you.
5. Learn to forgive yourself.
We can all be pretty mean to ourselves, especially after a failure.
But here’s something that will not just help you learn how to improve your self-respect but also make you more confident in the long run – we all make mistakes. We all mess, sometimes colossally. Yet, these mistakes do not define who you are.
Therefore, if you want to learn how to increase self-respect, accept that you will tread the wrong path at some point and you will make mistakes. But it’s essential to let the feelings of regret and guilt go. You must learn from your mistakes, but beating yourself up for that will not help.
6. Understand that some people will never respect you, and that’s okay.
This is a part of reality, and it’s critical that you accept it.
Everyone is entitled to have a perspective of their own. But it does not mean someone else’s opinion of you is right.
This is why people will be critical of you even when you achieve something good. They will push you further down when you are already at your lowest. You cannot make everyone happy, and you shouldn’t even try.
So, in order to learn how to increase your self-respect, be more proactive while dealing with people who disrespect you. Don’t allow their idea of who you are and what you deserve to govern you.
7. Don’t compare yourself with others.
If you compare yourself with others constantly, it’s not helping your personal growth and development. Therefore, stop comparing your life with others and focus on your journey. Try dissociating your ideas of success and happiness with other people’s loss.
Celebrate your wins, no matter how small, without comparing them to the next person. Don’t let other people’s existence chip away your self-confidence and respect.
Learning how to regain self-respect is tough. It is daunting to stand up for yourself and be more open about your needs and wants. Combined with adverse childhood experiences, trauma, and constant comparisons, the route to developing self-respect gets even tougher.
But there’s a lot that you can do to turn your life around. We hope these tips on how to develop self-respect will help you get started in the right direction.
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