You are one of those dyed-in-the-wool extroverts. You are right at the cusp of a social event that you have waited with bated breaths for days, weeks, or maybe even months.
But suddenly, on the event day, you would rather be anywhere in the world than be present at the event. Even if you long to see your family and friends, you can’t imagine being in a social situation. You are tired and feel miserable alone, yet you can’t attend this event because you fear doing something wrong and being judged by others.
Or maybe you do arrive at the event finally. But as you get excited to mingle and mix with people, you feel a sense of anxiety crawl up within you.
Suddenly, you are doubting everything you say or whether everyone around you is enjoying your company. There is a constant burden on your shoulders to engage in conversations, and each moment, it gets heavier and harder to maintain the act.
Does this sound familiar to you?
If you have ever been in such a situation, you might have wondered, ‘Am I an extrovert with social anxiety?’
But you soon dismiss the thought because there is no such thing as socially anxious extroverts? Social anxiety is supposed to be a thing for the introverted among us, right? And you? You are not dreading having conversations with others. You love company. No one in your life has ever accused you of being shy. You are one of those quintessential extroverts who are always up for downtime with friends, right?
Well, here’s the truth.
Pop culture references and mainstream ideology have made us believe that extroverts should be tireless social bees, whereas introverts are shy bugs. Therefore, it’s not your fault if you have doubts like ‘can extroverts have social anxiety.’
Being stressed in social settings is a trait commonly associated with introverts.
However, such stereotypes are wrong and harmful. No one is immune to social anxiety, irrespective of their personality. If you are a socially anxious extrovert, it is important to understand what you are going through and how to cope with your situation.
This is exactly what this post is meant for. It is a complete navigation guide for coping with social anxiety as an extrovert. Let’s dive in.
What Does Being An Extrovert With Social Anxiety Mean?
For those still on the fence about ‘can extroverts have social anxiety,’ the answer is a loud resounding yes.
You can be an extrovert and have social anxiety.
And it’s not just us who are saying it. A study published by PLOS One suggests that there are a number of people who aren’t shy but have social anxiety traits.
A regular extrovert might seem like a people person, but they are much more than that. Extroverts are defined as people who draw their energy from being around people. They recharge their batteries through social interactions.
On the other hand, social anxiety is characterized by emotional distress from being in social situations.
Together, these two make for the worst possible combination – socially anxious extroverts.
Being social anxiety as an extrovert is an exhausting mental battle. Your extrovert side is looking forward to meeting new people. But your brain starts overthinking the whole thing, and you get paranoid, only to chicken out of something you love. You are constantly stuck between wanting to go out and not wanting to socialize with people.
Simply put, having social anxiety as an extrovert is hard. And it can take an enormous toll on your psychological well-being. This is why it is essential to understand the signs of social anxiety before they start disrupting your regular life.
Here are the most common signs of being a socially anxious extrovert:
1. You love and despise the same thing – people.
People. People are where you get your energy and motivation from. You feel alive when you have company. And yet, when you are actually around people, you can’t enjoy any moment because you are constantly stressed and anxious. You constantly feel like you need to leave, yet the thought of being alone drains your energy.
2. You second-Guess everything you say.
As a socially anxious extrovert, you are constantly juggling between different thoughts. Your extrovert side loves to contribute to conversations, yet your nervous side chides you for saying something wrong. This way, you are constantly second-guessing what you want to say.
3. You make elaborate plans and then want to bail on them when the time comes.
Another sign of having social anxiety as an extrovert is when you make plans to meet your friends and then want to cancel them at the last minute.
Meeting your homies is the ultimate joy. You are ready and waiting. But then it’s ten minutes to the scheduled plan, and your anxiety makes you want to cancel stuff, change your name, and probably flee the country. You always wonder why you said yes to these plans in the first place.
4. Your anxiety stems from a deep fear of rejection.
It’s normal to want to have a circle of friends who love and respect you for who you are. However, for extroverts, this tendency to want to have social support goes a step ahead of the rest. Social acceptance is more rewarding to them.
This can become an unhealthy obsession and combine with childhood trauma to give rise to social anxiety in extroverts.
5. You are constantly overanalyzing and overthinking stuff.
Whether it’s an emoji in the chat, the posture of someone sitting next to you, or a phrase that someone used to describe you – you are constantly overthinking stuff. There is an inherent need to find a hidden meaning or agenda behind whatever happens around you. Constantly trying to find new meaning in seemingly ordinary things is one of the prime signs of extroverts with social anxiety.
Test For Extroverts With Social Anxiety
Social anxiety in extroverts exists on a broad spectrum. Apart from overthinking, fear of rejection, and canceling of plans, other signs are lesser known. Knowing and spotting these signs is tough.
This is exactly where the YMHP Extroverts with Social Anxiety Test comes in. It is a comprehensive small questionnaire that helps identify the potential risk signs of social anxiety.
Designed with deep research around the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of social anxiety in extroverts, the YMHP extroverts with social anxiety test can help you learn more about what you are dealing with.
That being said, this is just a self-screening tool and cannot replace professional diagnostic tests. If your social anxiety is affecting your daily life, it is essential to consult with your healthcare provider or a mental health specialist.
Can You Be An Extrovert With Social Anxiety – Find Out Here!
This extroverts with social anxiety questionnaire is for people wanting insight into their social behavior patterns.
At each level, indicate how much you agree or disagree with the statement.
Each response you choose carries a certain number of points. The points distribution is:
- A lot – 5 points
- Very Often- 4 points
- Sometimes- 3 points
- Rarely- 2 points
- Never- 1 point
In order to get the best results, answer all the questions honestly and keep track of your responses. Let’s get started.
1. Do you feel nervous and anxious in social situations, even if you want to be there?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
2. Do you often worry about what others think about you in social situations?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
3. Do you avoid social gatherings due to your fear of being judged?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
4. Is it challenging for you to start conversations with people you don’t know?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
5. During social situations, do you experience physical anxiety symptoms, like sweating, heavy breathing, etc.?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
6. Do you often rehearse what you are going to say in social situations?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
7. Do you feel self-conscious about being watched in a group?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
8. Do you tend to decline invitations to places you want to go due to your anxiety?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
9. Do you struggle to make eye contact while having conversations?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
10. Do you feel relieved when any plans for social events are canceled?
- A lot
- Very Often
- Sometimes
- Rarely
- Never
Results
Now that you have completed the YMHP extroverts with social anxiety test, it is time for results.
Your total score:
A lot (5 points) x Number of times selected
Very Often (4 points) x Number of times selected
Sometimes (3 points) x Number of times selected
Rarely (2 points) x Number of times selected
Never (1 point) x Number of times selected
Result interpretation:
10-20 points – no social anxiety signs
21-30 points – mild social anxiety not severely impacting your life
31-40 points – moderate social anxiety affecting your ability to enjoy life mildly
41-50 points – severe social anxiety as an extrovert severely affecting your extroverted behavior.
How To Cope With Social Anxiety As An Extrovert?
Now that you have understood what being extroverted and having social anxiety mean, it is time to know how to cope with this situation. To help you get started, here are a few non-intimidating and effective ways to cope with social anxiety.
1. Go past your anxious thoughts
Hiding from your anxious thoughts is only going to make it harder to deal with them. Therefore, one of the best tips for socially anxious extroverts is to face their fears head-on. When your mind forces you to overanalyze every fear, look, and comment, take those thoughts forward. Rather than stopping at the negative self-talk, take the idea forward and understand what it eventually leads to.
Go past just overanalyzing and focusing on the negatives. Try thinking about what was good or what made you happy.
2. Recognize that you can’t control everything.
One of the best ways to cope with social anxiety is to accept that you have limited control over whatever is happening around you. You can’t control what anyone thinks about you, their thoughts, judgments, and whatever else bothers you.
When you let go of this idea of trying to take control over everything, you can actually focus on something you can control – your emotions and moods. This way, you can invest time in yourself and figure out how you feel.
3. Turn the tables.
If something unwanted or embarrassing happens, remind yourself that you are, after all, a human who is bound to make mistakes. If you spill coffee on yourself, accept that not everyone will laugh at you.
One way to try being kind to yourself is to imagine someone else in your place. What if a colleague spilled coffee on themselves? Would you laugh at them?
Similarly, try to stay grounded and kind with your reactions to yourself.
4. Ask for professional help.
Social anxiety is a tough and debilitating condition. Therefore, it is okay to need external help whenever required. The best way forward is having a professional to help you analyze your anxiety symptoms, understand your triggers, and eventually find ways to cope with them.
Acknowledging your mental health struggles and asking for help are the first steps in eventually addressing them.
Conclusion:
When you think about social anxiety, your mind conjures up an image of someone sitting alone at a party while desperately trying to find their way out. However, it’s not all that black and white after all. Extroverts who are supposedly the life of the party can have severe social anxiety that affects every part of their lives.
We hope this ultimate guide for extroverts with social anxiety will help you understand what you are dealing with. It will also help you assess your symptoms and learn ways to cope with your anxiety.
Looking for more tips to cope with social anxiety during the holiday season? Click here.
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