5 Reasons Why Is Asking For Help So Damn Hard

Raise your hand if you have ever had to ask for help from people in your personal and professional life.

Raise your hand if you have felt embarrassed and extremely stupid while trying to get the required help.

Raise your hand if you were in some sort of trouble, and talking to someone would have really helped, but you feared being vulnerable and continued to struggle alone.

Raise your hand if you have ever felt like asking for help will be a burden to others or on similar lines.

From what we assume, we are all wildly waving hands from wherever we are now. 

At some point in life, we have all wondered why is asking for help so damn hard. Whether asking assistance from a friend to babysit your kids or a coworker to finish a project, we have all struggled with voicing our needs and asking for help. 

In a society so adamant about promoting the ‘help yourself’ culture, it just gets harder to do each passing day. But have you wondered why? Why does asking for help feel so damn complicated? 

Let’s find out.

In this post, we will dive deeper into five main reasons why asking for help feels so hard and troublesome for most of us. 

asking for help

Why Does Asking For Help Feel Hard?

1. You Don’t Want To Give Up Control.

One of the primary reasons we all find asking for help hard is our ‘perfectionist’ tendencies. If you are someone who sufferers from the ‘I would rather do it myself’ complex, you will find it a lot tougher to ask for assistance. 

This is because letting someone else do your part means having less control over the situation. This becomes uncomfortable for those who want to complete their work in a specific way, even if it comes at the expense of their well-being.

2. You Don’t Know What To Say.

Even with our inexhaustive vocabulary, we seldom find the right words to ask for help. If you are someone who doesn’t do it frequently, you might feel anxious about what to say. You struggle to explain your needs or how exactly you are feeling. 

If you have been here, there are certain things you can do to ease the process. If you cannot describe what you need, write it down or draw it. Moreover, always know you don’t need the perfect words to initiate a conversation. 

3. You Don’t Want To Be A Burden.

Another reason why most of us struggle to ask for help is because we fear rejection or being a burden. 

Feeling like a burden is not a great feeling. No one likes to do the heavy lifting for another person if they don’t necessarily have to. This is why people are cautious when they open up about their needs or struggles because they fear being judged or ridiculed. 

Thus, this constant need to avoid being seen as a burden restricts people from asking for help.

4. You feel the pressure to be independent.

When you live in a culture that promotes self-help, self-sufficiency, and self-reliance, asking for help automatically gets tougher. This pressure is more visible in historically disadvantaged cultural and ethnic groups constantly under the scanner for their performances. Moreover, it also tends to be more pronounced in women. 

Read more: Unveiling the Toll – Impact Of Patriarchy On Mental Health

5. You Don’t Think Asking For Help Or Receiving It Will Actually Help

Sometimes we are so invested and occupied with our problem that asking for help or receiving it feels useless. Everything feels pointless. We feel so down and discouraged that nothing seems to fix the issues we are dealing with. 

During such times, knowing that things do get better when you share them with others is important. Yes, they don’t change miraculously, but at least you can share your feelings with someone else. And that’s better, right?

Read more: How To Be Hopeful In The Midst Of Uncertainty


We live in an increasingly isolating world. Even though we are more connected and visible to each other, we feel more alone than ever. In such circumstances, reaching out and asking for help gets even tougher. We hope this list of reasons why this happens will help you rectify your biases and ask for assistance whenever required. 

There is no denying that asking for help is tough. But it is important, and we all deserve it.

Asking for help gets even more difficult but important when it comes to your mental health. Access to help is much easier now with the advent of online therapy platforms. To learn more about the most affordable online therapy platforms, click here.

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