Undervaluing yourself can cost significant personal and professional milestones. Here are the biggest signs you underestimate yourself to help spot self-sabotaging behavior early on.
A surprisingly high percentage of people constantly undervalue themselves.
Some of you might not have a clear perspective on your achievements, and you might constantly measure what you have achieved through constant comparison with others.
Then, there are those who are so afraid of making mistakes that they let outstanding opportunities slip away due to the fear of failure. They never make the most of the chances they are given as they are continuously pulled back by the fear of letting themselves and other people down.
Do you regularly undervalue yourself in life?
If yes, you are doing yourself a terrible disservice.
If you constantly undervalue yourself, you never give yourself enough chances to build the life and relationships you deserve. Due to your fears and insecurities, you are extremely reluctant to share your true self with the world.
The way you value yourself overshadows every aspect of your life. It determines the standards you set for yourself and other people in all the relationships of your life. When you undervalue what you are, it negatively impacts your well-being and makes you feel empty on the inside.
This is why it’s essential to recognize your self-worth and stop undervaluing yourself in every living moment.
And the first step in this process is to actually recognize the signs that you undervalue yourself. Now, these signs can casually masquerade as something completely unintentional. They can creep into your regular mannerisms and convey to the world that you underestimate yourself. And that’s definitely not the message you want to send out.
To help you get started, we have compiled a list of the top signs you are undervaluing yourself. We’ll also discuss how to fix these self-sabotaging behavioral traits. Let’s dive in!
Red Flags – Signs You Underestimate Yourself
1. You over-apologize for everything, even if it’s not your fault.
We have all been in these situations – when you accidentally bump into a person, make a mistake, or cause slight inconvenience to others.
It’s normal. An apology is required in such situations.
But, if you are constantly apologizing for minor events or when it’s not even your fault – it’s a completely different story. Over-apologizing is one of the signs you are undervaluing yourself. It means that you put too much pressure and blame on yourself for everything.
It’s almost like you continuously ask forgiveness for taking up some space in the world or for your existence.
2. You don’t ask questions.
Asking questions or conveying your concerns? Definitely not your thing.
One of the most common signs you underestimate yourself is if you rarely find the questions that arise within you important enough to share with others. You constantly second guess whether your questions will make you come across as incompetent or unknowledgeable. This fear of judgment stems from the fact that you are underconfident in your abilities. It’s a trait from the undervalued self within you.
3. Your first response to anything you have to do is that you won’t be able to do it.
Whenever you are presented with a better, life-changing opportunity, your first response is that you’d never be able to do it. You automatically assume that you will fail at the task without even trying to make an attempt.
This is another one of the signs you are undervaluing yourself and what you can achieve in life. You constantly underplay your potential in a way that might ruin the chances that come your way. Your fear of failure and the anxiety of not being good enough will chip away at your self-confidence in the long run.
4. You constantly downplay your achievements.
If you undervalue yourself, you will never own up to your success and achievements. This is because when you undervalue what you are, you’ll always feel like your wins are a fluke. You will define everything you achieve as mere luck or chance events while choosing to ignore the amount of hard work you put in to get there.
Additionally, you downplay your achievements to avoid attracting unwanted attention. You fear being perceived as obnoxious, rude, or entitled, and therefore, you tend to avoid being too happy or confident in what you have done.
5. You stick with the wrong kind of people.
Another sign you undervalue yourself is when you are a part of the wrong and toxic crowd, even though you know that these are people who fuel your self-sabotaging tendencies.
As humans, we learn the most from the people we love. Therefore, when people around you love you for what you are, you also imbibe that in your heart.
However, if you are stuck with the wrong group of people who put you down at every opportunity they get, it might be one of the signs you undervalue yourself. You might not leave these people because you don’t understand you deserve better. You might worry you won’t get a better set of friends and don’t want to be left alone.
6. You regularly try to please people.
While it’s good to show kindness to people and help others out, if you do that at the expense of your well-being, it’s one of the signs you underestimate yourself.
When you constantly put other people ahead of you, you forget about your own needs and wants. Disregarding your needs puts your well-being and goals on a sideline. If you ever find yourself feeling like you cannot do what you want to without getting a stamp of approval from others, that’s one of the most prominent signs you are undervaluing yourself.
7. You allow others to treat you poorly.
If you send a message saying you don’t value yourself, people around you start reciprocating yours with the same behavior. When you don’t respect yourself, you also give people a social cue on how they can treat you.
This way, if you tolerate any form of disrespect or disregard for yourself because you don’t expect to be treated nicer, it’s one of the most prominent signs you undervalue yourself.
How To Start Valuing Yourself?
Now that you have crossed the first step and recognized the signs that you underestimate yourself, it’s time to move to the next one. In this section, we will take you through the most practical steps on how to start valuing yourself. Let’s dive in.
1. Accept how you are feeling.
As mentioned above, one of the most important steps to stop underestimating yourself is acknowledging and accepting that you aren’t respecting yourself enough. It’s a hard pill to swallow but an all too common feeling.
Once you acknowledge these feelings, you can identify the problematic patterns, address the triggers, and restructure how you think about yourself.
2. Admire yourself (routinely).
Another essential step in not undervaluing yourself is to admire yourself regularly. It might not come naturally initially, but you will eventually get there. Here are a few steps that can help you get started:
- Document your success: Keep a journal or ‘success file’ of all your accomplishments. Whenever you are in doubt about your abilities, skim through this file to get an instant boost of motivation.
- Visualize yourself at your best: It’s 2024, and manifestation is legit. Therefore, every once in a while, imagine what your best life looks like. And once you do that, spend the rest of the time trying to get there.
- Positive self-talk: The way you talk to yourself is important. Therefore, remind yourself about your talents, skills, and successes.
3. Stop comparing yourself with others.
One of the main reasons why you undervalue yourself is because you constantly compare yourself with others.
And it’s not your fault. We live in a day and age where we are constantly bombarded with information about what others are doing. Naturally, when you scroll through your glossy Instagram feed while sitting and working in your office, even as your Instagram friends are out on vacation, you are bound to feel bad about your life.
This constant comparison of your life with others needs to stop. It’s important that you define your success, your life, and yourself by measures you’ve set for yourself and not by what other people are achieving. Redirect your focus back to your life, and we promise you’ll see an instant change.
Conclusion:
You regularly show signs that you undervalue yourself without even recognizing it. They are so ingrained in your personality that you might even fail to notice them the very first time. But if you constantly second-guess your questions, try to please people at your expense, and over-apologize for your mere existence – we have a problem.
We hope these signs you are undervaluing yourself will help you notice your negative behavioral patterns and give you the much-needed nudge to restructure your thoughts and actions.
Do you know that constantly undervaluing yourself and not believing in your achievements has a scientific name? Yes, it’s called imposter syndrome. To learn more about imposter syndrome, click here. To continue learning about self-improvement and mental health daily, subscribe to Your Mental Health Pal.