“I feel that I am not deserving and worthy enough for this relationship. I am not smart/beautiful/kind/funny and just not good enough for them.”
Do these lines sound familiar? Do you feel that you are worthless and undeserving in your relationship?
Do you feel like they could do far better than you? Like you somehow don’t match up to the high standards you have set for yourself? Like they are doing some kind of favor by sticking with you?
Relationships are tough. Even tougher for those with low self-esteem who constantly have to deal with a harsh inner self-critic. Due to this feeling of unworthiness and shame, they can block themselves from being fully present in a relationship. They might feel detached, underappreciated, and undervalued in the relationship.
This is why learning how to stop feeling worthless in a relationship is important to build a strong foundation of love and trust. In this post, we will talk more about how to build self-worth and confront feelings of unworthiness in your relationship. Let’s get started.
How To Stop Feeling Worthless In A Relationship?
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
One of the initial steps how to stop feeling worthless in a relationship is to start acknowledging your feelings rather than ignoring or avoiding them.
When you become mindful of your feelings, you get the opportunity to reflect on them without being judgmental. Denying your feelings or refusing to acknowledge them can lead to bottling up emotions, which can be detrimental to your relationship.
2. Celebrate your small achievements.
One reason you might feel unworthy in your relationship is that you set extremely high and inaccessible standards for yourself. This means you only give yourself the right to feel happy or accomplished when you surpass these standards.
However, sadly that day never comes. The goalposts for your standards keep shifting, and you are constantly running behind one thing or the other.
This is why it is essential to acknowledge and celebrate your small achievements. Be grateful for the things you have achieved. Learn to celebrate the small milestones on the way to the bigger life goal.
3. Express your feelings to your partner.
Another important tip on how to stop feeling worthless in a relationship is to confront your partner about your feelings. This is even more important if your feelings arise from a certain aspect of your relationship or your partner’s behavior.
Try to open up to your partner about how you are feeling. Take out time to properly sit and have a heartfelt conversation. If you see your partner getting defensive, call them out. However, learn to display the same sensitivity for them as well.
4. Stop comparing yourself.
Comparison is one of the most primal human instincts. We are constantly looking to come up on top in social situations. However, it is important to understand that comparing yourself with others will only make you feel bad for yourself.
Instead, learn to focus on yourself and what you are doing. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Make an effort to give back to the world that helps you at every step of the way.
5. Ask for professional help.
Feeling unworthy in a relationship can lead to bigger issues between you and your partner, including a lack of communication and understanding. It might be a sign of something deeper needing expert professional help. Therapy, including personal and couple’s therapy, profoundly impacts how you address and deal with your emotions.
A continuous lack of self-worth can be detrimental to your relationship. It can arise from childhood trauma, internalized shame, and negative self-talk. Learning how to stop feeling worthless in a relationship is tough. However, it is not impossible. Acknowledging your feelings, celebrating your small achievements, confronting your partner, and seeking professional help might help you deal with this effectively.
Apart from feeling worthless, there are other significant signs why your relationship might need professional help. To learn more about these signs, click here.
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