Some of us grew up with parents who were in some way or the other neglectful, abusive, or downright terrible.
Now, we understand the ‘no parent is perfect’ excuse, but some people genuinely do have awful parents who are truly unforgivable. Right?
Whether you have tried to reconcile with your folks or not, it is evident that learning how to forgive your parents is a task.
Think of this scenario, if the world’s best boxer threw a punch at you for no reason, would you be able to forgive them easily?
Forgiveness is complicated and harder when you are on the weaker side. And this is why forgiving your parents is hard. It is because you were disappointed and hurt by the authority figures who were supposed to care for you. They never evolved as people or genuinely apologized to you, and now you feel they are completely undeserving of your empathy.
But forgiveness does not depend on whether the person deserves it. No, it is about you. Think of it as a deeply selfish (and extremely positive) action. If you want to move forward in life and make the most of it, it is important that you let go of the past hurt. This will eventually pave the way for better and happier things in your life.
In this post, we have listed some of the most effective and non-intimidating tips on how to forgive your parents. If you are willing to give yourself and your happiness a chance, this is the perfect space to start. Let’s dive in.
How To Forgive Your Parents?
1. Even if their actions seem unforgivable, you can find ways to let go.
For those shaking their heads and dismissing the very idea of forgiving your extremely awful and completely unaware parents, here’s the good news! Forgiving does not mean being OKAY with their actions. It does not mean that you have to see them or owe them a relationship.
It simply means liberating yourself to prosper and move forward without carrying the weight of their actions. It means letting go of the toxicity that might ruin other relationships in your life.
Read more: 7 Tips To Forgive Yourself
2. Make an effort to understand where their behavior and actions stem from.
We see our parents as standalone individuals. We fail to recognize that they are complicated individuals with their own burdens and traumas. They have their individual histories, dreams, and practically a whole life behind them.
While it is difficult to understand this, once you try, you will know that they were once as fragile and impressionable as you. This way, you will be able to see them more than what they did to you, and thereby, learning how to forgive your parents might just get a tad bit easier with this.
3. Learn to accept and grieve your situation.
We all dream of a perfect childhood and a healthy relationship with our parents. Most probably, you did it, too, and you are still struggling to grapple with the fact that you might never have those beautiful moments to cherish.
So, it is okay to feel what you are feeling. It is okay to take some time and grieve your situation. Grieve your childhood, dreams, relationship with your parents, and the precious time you have lost dealing with all this.
You will feel lighter when you allow yourself to accept, feel, and process your emotions. This way, you will be more open and receptive to learning how to forgive your parents.
Forgiving your parents is tough and complicated. It is difficult to make sense of their actions and emotions toward you. This gets even tougher when they haven’t changed as people and genuinely do not deserve your forgiveness.
However, learning how to forgive your parents is important for you. You have a life you can fill with happiness and love once you let go of the burden of your parents’ actions. Therefore, even if your parents don’t deserve forgiveness, you must try to forgive them as you deserve a chance at true happiness and contentment.
Forgiveness is tough, and asking for professional help to process your emotions is okay. Asking for help is now more accessible than ever with the advent of online therapy platforms. To learn more about them, click here.
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