101 Guide On What To Say When You Talk To Yourself?

Do you realize that we talk to ourselves constantly, without consciously noticing or trying? 

Did I get this right?” 

Damn this was fun.” 

If you listen closely, you will be able to hear your constant bickering with yourself.

But unfortunately, most of the time, what we tell ourselves is pessimistic, cynical, and damaging – preventing us from enjoying a fun-filled and successful life. At the end of the day when we lie down on the bed alone, we end up chastising ourselves for all that we failed at. 

You just couldn’t get to the gym right?”

Oh, a new Netflix show to binge! Why are you so unproductive?”

The words you use while talking to yourself matter a lot. If you put yourself down constantly, you will eventually become demotivated and lose self-confidence

But, do not stress yourself out, pal. 

We get how tricky the idea of practicing positive self-talk can get. Our brains can sometimes be really mean in the messages they send us. 

However, practicing positive self-talk is important. It affects our peace of mind and overall mental wellbeing. That is why you should know what to say when you talk to yourself. 

But, Firstly, What is Self-Talk?

We have an inner dialogue with ourselves all the time. Self-talk is that inner voice running inside our minds. Self-talk can be of two types:-

1. Positive Self Talk

A positive inner voice makes you feel good and happy about yourself and everything going on in your life. Positive self-talk is much more about the perspectives. It is optimistic and helps you focus on the sunny aspect. It encourages you to move ahead with your life, motivates you to stand again when you fall, and can become a significant reason for your prosperous life

2. Negative Self Talk 

Negative self-talk is the exact opposite of positive self-talk. Some examples of negative self-talk are thinking of yourself as insufficient or putting yourself down. It can make you feel crappy about yourself. Negative talking is so powerful that it can put everything down, even when something is going well. Negative thinking and self-talk can make you feel miserable and even impact your mental health. 

Why Should You Practice Positive Self-Talk?

Practice positive self-talk

You may not realize it, but talking to yourself significantly impacts your self-esteem and confidence. The words you say to yourself shape you into the person that you are. 

For example, imagine you are not good at mathematics. Reminding this to yourself 50 times a day will demotivate you until you give up on the subject altogether. On the other hand, saying positive affirmations like “I can do mathematics easily” might not make you a genius in the subject but will surely change your mindset. This will, in turn, give you the much-needed motivation to approach the problems. Positive self-talk makes you the controller of your mind and helps you get the stuff done.

Benefits Of Positive Self-Talk

1. Seeing A New Perspective

Life is not always beautiful and sweet. In difficult times, negative toxic thoughts can take over our minds. Pessimistic thinking can make things look more complicated than they are. 

In these moments, positive self-talk helps you get a broad perspective and see the bigger picture.

2. Increases Self-Esteem And Confidence

Positive self-talk can help you in achieving higher self-esteem and confidence. When you think positively, you make yourself feel motivated and determined to achieve the desired goal. That way, you have better control over the activities happening in your life, which is an empowering idea. 

3. Better Relationships

When you see good in yourself, you see good in others too. Thinking and saying positive thoughts to yourself will help you maintain good relations with other people as well.

Three Most Important Ways To Practice Positive Self-Talk

Does your mind divert you whenever you start a positive conversation with yourself? Well, you are not alone. Self-talk is a tricky landscape to navigate. Hence, here are three ways to help you ace the positive self-talk game:

1. Cut Negative People Out of Your Life

There can be days when people around you can feel sad or depressed. But if there is someone who you feel has negative energy around them always, maybe it’s time for you to distance yourself from them

The attitudes of the people around you will affect your mood. Try keeping the negativity to a minimum in your life by limiting your time with these people. 

2. Be grateful

Finding things you are genuinely grateful for daily helps improve your attitude. This will, in turn, help you practice more positive self-talk. You can start with maintaining a gratitude journal by writing daily what you are thankful for.

3. Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Thoughts

It is okay to have negative thoughts on some days. However, if they constantly surround your mind, there is a problem.  

Do not worry. We have a trick that might help prevent most of your negative thoughts. 

Try thinking of a coin. Every coin has two sides, right? Similarly, every situation has two aspects. It depends on you to select the element. If you want to continue focusing on the negative, there is no remedy. But always know that you are the one who embodies the strength to focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Think of this example: Suppose you wanted to do a finance course and failed at it miserably. It’s obvious that you will start feeling pathetic after falling at the subject you always wanted to pursue. But just think of it in a different aspect. Maybe it’s good you failed at it because otherwise, you would have never realized that you have an interest in something else. It was only your mind who wanted to do finance and not you. 

Similarly, you can turn around any difficult situation with a little bit of perspective change and positive self-talk.

Ten Things To Say When You Talk To Yourself

what to say when you talk to yourself
Things to say when you talk to yourself

Sometimes we feel unmotivated and lost. On these days, the voice in our head is our guiding light. It can stray us toward the good or bad. 

To help you practice positive self-talk in these difficult times, here are our ten best ideas. Try reminding yourself of these daily and have faith that you will be alright. 

1. “I believe in me.”

You may fail 8 out of 10 times, but that doesn’t mean you should stop believing in yourself. Say that you believe in yourself. You might be amazed at the amount of courage these words will give you. 

2. “I am loved.”

Every living organism needs love. Don’t count the number of people who love you. Measure the quality of love you receive. Thinking about the people who love you will help you realize the importance of your existence in their lives. 

Somedays, we just need to be reassured that we are loved, and we are the best person to do it for ourselves. 

3. “I am going after my needs and wants.”

Never doubt yourself for going after the things you want or need. Make yourself the top priority. Choose what you want and work for it without feeling guilty. 

4. “My instincts are true.”

Learning to trust your inner gut (instincts) is the most significant gift you can give yourself. Listen to your mind and trust your gut. 

5. “I deserve better.”

You decide how high your standards should be. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve all the best things and never settle for less. 

6. “I am strong enough.”

Repeat the words ‘I am strong’ to yourself whenever you are scared or afraid. Life would eventually hurt you, but how you react to it depends on how headstrong you are.

7. “I am grateful.”

We tend to focus a lot on what we don’t have. In the process, we often ignore the good things in life. So remind yourself that even if you aren’t going through the best of times, you still have something to be grateful for. 

8. “I am capable.”

When you feel bogged by failures and setbacks, tell yourself you are capable. You might not always know what to do, but that’s because you haven’t learned it yet. Give yourself time to figure things out, and never lose your resolve to keep going.

9. “I am important.”

No matter what others say and make you feel, always tell yourself that you are important. Make yourself feel valued. If you don’t show importance to yourself, why will others?

10. “I am constantly growing and developing into a better person.” 

Tell yourself daily that you are working towards becoming a better person. Try not to focus on the societal standards of success. Have faith in the fact that you are doing better than what you did before. The comparison should always be between you vs. the previous you.


What you say when you talk to yourself matters. The next time you feel your brain being mean to you, begin to question your thoughts. Are the negative things you say to yourself actually true? Try interrupting these thoughts in the middle and restructuring them. 

Change that negative narrative and speak more kindly to yourself. Always remember the way you see and talk to yourself will be a reflection of how you will treat other people. 

We know the journey is tough and long. But keep trying, and one day without even noticing, you will have softened and grown into a version of yourself that you would have never imagined.

Now that you know what to say when you talk to yourself, let’s help you learn some other self-care steps. To learn about new, simple, and powerful self-care activities, click here.

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1 Comment

  1. Words we tell ourselves are really important. We need to be kind to ourselves first. Thank you for this great article.

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