Going through a divorce can be an extremely traumatic experience. However, by addressing the grief, loss, and loneliness that occurs with the process, you can effectively learn how to cope with a divorce.
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You walked down the aisle thinking this was going to be forever. ‘Till death do us part” is the most romantic love line we could probably think of. But the thought is a bit morbid if you really think about it.
Okay, hear us out before labeling us as non-romantics.
Doesn’t it look like an extreme idea to stand in front of a few witnesses and claim that only death, a fatal car accident, or a terminal illness will break apart? It sounds so heroic, romantic, and profound, right?
Unfortunately, in reality, all it takes to break us apart from the supposed love of our lives are fights, lack of commitments, and a host of other factors.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a whopping 42% of Americans who get married between the ages of 15 and 46 do not stay married when they reach 46.
Simply put, divorces happen. A lot of times. And they’re highly traumatic experiences combined with feelings of shock, abandonment, and loneliness. The impact of a divorce on your life does not end with completing mere paperwork. This process’s shadow hangs as you return to an empty home. In fact, the impact of divorce on your mental and physical health is so severe that it can last up to years.
Now, that’s definitely not to convince you to stay in an unhealthy marriage. However, we are saying separation is tough, and learning how to cope with a divorce can help you make the process a hell of a lot easier.
To understand how to cope with a divorce, you need to first understand the implications of divorce on your body. To help you get started, we have compiled a complete guide on how separation affects your health. This guide is filled with tips on how to handle a divorce. Let’s dive in!
So, How Does Divorce Affect Your Health?
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1. You might become more anxious than before.
Almost everyone goes through a divorce with their anxiety hitting the roof. It doesn’t even matter why you’re taking a divorce. It’s a significant life change that will throw you off the edge more than once.
It’s highly distressing to understand you are suddenly alone after having a lifetime companion. It significantly changes what you might have possibly imagined as a future for yourself. One of the best tips on how to deal with divorce anxiety is to see a mental health professional.
2. You might undergo drastic weight changes.
Another possible effect of divorce on your body is a significant change in your appetite and body weight. Some people get on a binge-eating spree after their divorce, while others completely lose their appetite. Both of these are unhealthy choices.
If you find yourself indulging in unhealthy activities regarding your food intake, it’s necessary to inform those around you and see a doctor immediately.
3. There’s an increased risk of depression.
As per a published in Clinical Psychological Science, going through a divorce significantly increases your chances of having depression. However, people who’ve previously been through depressive episodes are more at risk for this than those who haven’t. As per the results of the study, an overwhelming 60% of participants with a history of depression had another depressive episode due to their depression. On the contrary, only 10% of people with no prior history developed the condition post-divorce.
4. It can lead to sleep problems and high blood pressure.
Another study by Health Psychology reports that people often stop sleeping properly after divorce. It also found a near-dangerous spike in blood pressure after divorce among people. The research established that people who had sleep disturbances for ten weeks or more saw a steep increase in their blood pressure. In fact, the longer these sleep disturbances occur, the longer the blood pressure issues persist.
How To Cope With A Divorce?
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1. Let yourself grieve.
One of the best tips on how to cope with a divorce is to let yourself grieve.
The shock, disbelief, and pain you feel after losing your relationship is normal. In fact, you might feel a host of uncomfortable emotions following your divorce, ranging from fear, denial, anger, resentment, grief, and whatnot.
One of the best ways to figure out how to deal with a divorce is to give space to your feelings. And as you progress through these emotions, always understand that your experience will not be linear. Your healing curve will fluctuate. But you will get there eventually.
2. Strictly prioritize self-care.
When looking for tips on how to cope with divorce as a woman or man, most people don’t expect others to tell them to prioritize self-care. It sounds too obvious and cliche, right?
However, we are going to stick to the basics. So, if you want to figure out how to recover from a divorce emotionally, prioritize yourself. This is a highly vulnerable time; therefore, keeping yourself healthy is essential.
Here are some tips on how to cope with splitting up while keeping yourself healthy:
- Focus on eating nutritious food.
- Get some amount of physical activity done every day.
- Make sure that you get a good night’s sleep daily.
- Take some downtime whenever things get too heavy for you.
3. Try to reconnect with things you love.
Another one of the best tips on how to handle divorce stress is this pretty basic advice – get in touch with hobbies and passions that make you happy.
You see, divorce is such an overwhelming process that it’s extremely easy to forget the small pleasures of life. Now, this does not mean you should ignore these hobbies while in a healthy relationship.
All we’re trying to say is that you might have lost touch with activities that brought you immense joy before your marriage. Maybe you loved to hike, but your significant other wasn’t a fan, so you haven’t gone hiking in a long time. Or perhaps you stopped your guitar lessons to make way for something else.
You get the point, right?
So, one of the best tips on how to cope with a divorce is to get back to hobbies. Reconnect with the person who you were before this marriage. This will help you regain your confidence.
4. Understand that these feelings are not your fault.
While going through a divorce, a lot of people end up feeling like a failure. They are stuck in an unhealthy cycle of ‘what ifs.’ They constantly contemplate where they went wrong and what they could have done differently. Eventually, the failure of their marriage becomes their identity. They start viewing themselves as failures.
But they are not. No one who goes through a divorce is a failure. Sometimes, things don’t work out between two people, and it’s absolutely powerful and courageous to find your happiness rather than being stuck in an unhappy marriage.
Therefore, one of the best tips on how to grieve a divorce is not to blame yourself. It’s not your fault, and you’ll be okay eventually.
5. Be in the company of supportive people.
Good friends and supportive relatives are your survival toolkits while figuring out how to recover from a divorce emotionally. Leaning on them for the much-needed love, support, and advice will make your life much easier.
Going through a separation means losing one of the most important relationships of your life. Therefore, if you are struggling with how to deal with loneliness after divorce, it’s essential to confide in your closest friends and loved ones. Try being open and vulnerable about your feelings. They can help you make sense of your pain and move forward effectively.
6. Don’t wait for closure to finally move on.
We often expect an apology or a cosmic ending before we finally move on from a divorce. Blame it on the romantic movies we watch, but unfortunately, there’s no divine intervention here. There’s no cosmic powerplay, and your ex-spouse will not send you a letter telling you to move on finally.
You have to find forgiveness and closure within yourself. So, if you want to know how to heal from a divorce, stop looking for explanations. Don’t spend the rest of your life trying to understand why this happened. Instead, invest this energy in making yourself happy.
7. Seek professional help.
The process of divorce and separation can often make you feel trapped in a vicious cycle. And there’s no shame in needing professional help in getting out of this.
Seeking professional help to figure out how to cope after divorce can help you outline your triggers, chalk out negative behavior patterns, and develop a healthy coping mechanism.
Access to professional help is now available within the comfort of your home. To learn more about online therapy, click here.
Conclusion:
We all believe in the power of love and relationships. However, real love comes with real people and their very real complexities. Sometimes, all these complexities become too much for two people, and they might choose to separate rather than continue living together miserably.
Separation is tough. And learning how to cope with a divorce comes with its own set of problems. You are suddenly supposed to change your life and lose your future. Going through such a big life change can be a lot to deal with. We hope these tips on how to handle a divorce will help you get started in the right direction.
Being in a relationship is hard; sometimes, you need external support to make things right between you and your partner. Couples therapy is one of the most effective ways to understand the problems in your relationship and work on them together as a team. To learn more about the benefits of couples therapy, click here.
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