Judging and the fear of being judged can sabotage your personal and professional life. Here are the most effective tips on how to stop being judgmental and start living a better, more wholesome life.
Trolls on the Internet, polarizing and downright hateful comments under social media posts, the woman moving too slowly at the cash counter in a grocery store, feeling annoyed when your friends don’t respond the way you want them to, or when your significant other doesn’t behave accordingly—trust me when I say you’ve done it enough.
We’ve done it.
In fact, we are all constantly stuck in this vicious cycle of judging people left, right, and center. From clothing choices to career options, how people choose to spend their time, the kind of people they’re around, the way they express their emotions, the list goes on and on.
Not just that, we’ve all been on the receiving end of it as well. It is in the pursed lips, raised eyebrows, and silent whispers as you walk into a room full of judgmental eyes.
At some point in our lives, we have all enjoyed being judgy. We love gossiping about trash reality shows and Reddit forums. However, when this critical, fault-finding voice comes up uninvited in your head all the time, you might have wondered, “How can I stop being so judgmental?”
If you’re that person, we have some good news. Turns out you can learn how to stop being judgmental by making small changes in your behavior and being mindful of what you think.
But before we get started, here’s a little heads-up. At the very step of how to stop being judgmental, you need to stop beating yourself up for passing judgments. It’s the most basic human instinct, and you’re not the only one doing it. In many forms, it’s almost equal to social comparison, which is a primal human instinct.
So, if you have got a critical inner voice, be kind to yourself.
Now that you have decided to curb it down, good news – it’s possible. Figuring out how to stop being judgmental is less about character and more about learned behaviors.
How do you imbibe these learned behaviors and stop being judgmental? Well, we have a whole list outlined for you; let’s dive in.
1. Be mindful of your judgmental thoughts.
The first step in learning how to stop being so judgmental is to be more mindful of your critical thoughts.
Most of the time, your judgmental thoughts are a knee-jerk reaction. Situations can trigger your criticizing thoughts. Therefore, the most important answer to the age-old question, ‘How do you stop being judgmental?’ is to slow down and notice your thoughts.
You don’t have to immediately let go of your judgmental thoughts. All you have to do is accept and understand that they’re happening. If you find it difficult to keep tabs on your negative thoughts, it can be helpful to write them down on paper or on your phone.
Pausing yourself will help you realize the exact triggers that feed into your judgmental thoughts. This will help you understand the patterns in your thoughts, which will go a long way toward helping you understand how to avoid being judgmental.
2. Avoid using loaded words.
Now that you have started noticing your judgmental thoughts, let’s move on to the next step. This is a much more actionable step in how to be less judgmental of others.
When you notice your critical thoughts, gauge the tone and language you use while referring to others. Now, actively try to reframe your thoughts. For instance, if you label someone’s behavior as lazy or dishonest, consider whether you’re assessing the situation properly.
Make an effort to understand the person’s situation by labeling them. Once you have made this effort, try to use a softer label or language for the situation. This initial start will help you reframe your thoughts in the longer run.
3. Start by putting yourself in your other people’s situation.
One of the best tips on how to get rid of your judgmental thoughts is to practice empathy. Imagine being in the other person’s shoes. What might they be going through? What challenges are they facing? By trying to understand their perspective, you’ll find it much easier to be compassionate instead of critical.
For instance, if someone is taking too long at the cash counter, consider that they might be having a tough day or dealing with something stressful. Instead of getting annoyed, you’ll be more likely to feel empathy and patience.
Putting yourself in other people’s situations helps you see the world through their eyes. It’s a small shift in thinking that can make a huge difference. You’ll find that you’re much less likely to lash out and much more likely to approach situations constructively.
So, next time you feel the urge to judge, pause and ask yourself, “What might this person be experiencing right now?” It’ll help you learn how to stop being judgmental and look at the situation through an empathetic lens.
4. Expand your social circle.
A great long-term strategy in how to overcome being judgmental is to broaden your social circles.
This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the effort. When you consistently work at it, you’ll become more open-minded and understanding.
Start by interacting with people who are different from you. This could mean diversifying your friend group. However, if you’re not open to building close friendships, try taking up new hobbies, joining a course, visiting a new neighborhood, or even learning a new language.
When you get to know people from various backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs, you’ll start to see the world from different perspectives. This makes you more aware of the unique challenges others face, helping you to be more understanding and less judgmental.
5. Remember that everyone is trying their best just as you are.
This is one of the most useful reminders while figuring out how to stop being judgmental of others. Remember that everyone is doing their best in the circumstances they have. Just like you, others are navigating their own challenges and trying to make the best of their situation.
When you remind yourself of this, it becomes easier to replace judgment with empathy. Think about a time when you were struggling, and someone was understanding and supportive instead of critical. How did that make you feel? By extending the same kindness to others, you not only help them but also create a more positive environment for yourself.
6. Accept that stopping judgmental thoughts is completely possible.
Judging is something we all do automatically, so it’s not realistic to expect to turn it off entirely. However, the good news is that you can learn how to be less judgmental of others and the world around you.
While you may never be able to shut down your tendency to judge completely, you can learn to examine those judgments and lessen their impact on your life. It’s about getting to a place where these thoughts don’t have as powerful a hold on you.
Recognize that it’s a normal part of being human, but also know that with mindfulness and effort, you can train yourself to be less judgmental.
7. Seek professional help.
If you find that your judgmental thoughts are overwhelming and difficult to manage on your own, seeking professional help can be a great step. Sometimes, talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with valuable tools and insights on how to stop being a judgmental person.
A professional can help you explore the root causes of your judgmental tendencies and work with you to develop strategies for change. This support can be incredibly beneficial, especially if these thoughts are affecting your personal and professional life.
Remember, there’s no shame in seeking help. It’s a proactive step towards becoming a more compassionate and understanding person.
Conclusion:
No matter where it’s coming from, remember that sizing up the world around you is just part of the human experience, so don’t shame yourself.
Judging is a natural instinct, something we all do automatically. Instead of being hard on yourself for having these thoughts, focus on catching those negative judgments and practicing thoughts that feel better.
Remember, it’s perfectly fine to stay a little judgy as a treat. It’s all about balance and progress, not perfection. The goal isn’t to eliminate judgmental thoughts entirely but to reduce their impact and frequency. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistent effort, you’ll notice a positive shift in your mindset.
And when you do slip up and find yourself being judgmental, take it as an opportunity to reflect and learn, not to criticize yourself. We hope these steps will help you figure out how to stop being judgmental of others and help you lead a more peaceful life.
Listening to people with empathy is another one of the best tips on how to stop being critical and judgmental. To learn more about how to listen with empathy, click here.
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