Maybe it is babysitting your pet while you are pulling yet another overtime at the office, running errands for you, explaining a difficult assignment, or simply lending an ear – we all need people’s help at some point. However, even though it’s so common and important, learning how to ask for help is rarely easy. In fact, most of the time, it is even more scary than the problem we seek help for.
Most of the time, we shy away from asking people for help because we are afraid to come across as demanding or privileged. We don’t want to burden others with our problems. Moreover, we live in a society that constantly looks down upon people asking for help. We are all supposed to defy basic human tendencies and live ‘independently.’
But no matter what the self-help enthusiasts tell you, learning how to as for help is as normal and important as possible.
In this post, we will dive into some useful tips to help you ask for help whenever you need it without feeling embarrassed or guilty. Let’s get started.
Tips On How To Ask For Help
1. Understand What You Need.
One of the first and probably the most important steps in how to ask for help is to understand what you actually need. While this might sound obvious in some situations, like babysitting your pet or running errands, your needs are not always as black and white.
For instance, if you are struggling with your mental health, you might not realize what asking for help means because you don’t clearly understand what you want.
In such cases, think properly about your situation. Reflect on what and who could be of help right now. Be very specific and clear about your needs. If you need assistance, focus on the 5 W’s – who, what, where, when, and why.
2. Find people you can trust.
Another essential step in how to ask for help is finding the right people. Your immediate options include your family members and friends. While they might be excellent support systems, your options aren’t necessarily limited to them.
Sometimes you might feel that asking for help from an unknown person or a professional might feel more manageable. This is because your relationship with a relatively new person or counselor has no added emotional baggage.
Talking to people who have gone through similar life situations can help in certain situations. Joining groups or helpful communities can be beneficial for you.
Read more: Best Online Therapy Platforms – 6 Easy-To-Use And Affordable Sites
3. Vocalize your needs properly because no one is a skilled mind reader.
Don’t get us started with all the misunderstandings arising from miscommunication. These discrepancies can also creep into the process of asking for help. You might assume that people would automatically understand your needs while they might continue thinking you don’t need any help at all. This way, you might start feeling cornered, but your loved ones would have no idea about your feelings.
So, vocalize your needs because people around us are not mind readers. No matter how much we want them to be, they aren’t and won’t be. Sadly real life is pretty practical and clunky.
We all need help to figure stuff out at times. Let people know that you are struggling. Maybe working through solutions with them is the right way forward.
4. Realize that all this is not about you.
A lot of people attribute asking for help as a sign of weakness. They believe being vulnerable and open about having a hard time will establish your failure to manage your life. But that is clearly not the case.
If you need and ask for help, it does nothing to diminish your value as a human. It does not mean you depend on others or can’t do things alone.
We live in a culture that constantly looks down upon interdependence and asking for help. We glorify toxic positivity and unhealthy loneliness. So if you have come to believe that you don’t have someone to rely upon, it is not your fault. You were conditioned to think this way.
Always know that learning how to ask for help is important and valuable. You deserve the love and support you require. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Read more: When Love Needs Help – Signs You Need Couple Therapy
Conclusion:
Learning how to ask for help is tough and complicated. You might feel like you are a burden or overly dependent on others. However, learning more about your needs, vocalizing your wants, and shedding shame can help you ask for assistance.
Do you know why exactly are you so guilty and ashamed about asking for help? Find out here.
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