Why Do We Find Self-Acceptance So Hard?

Self-acceptance is the active process of accepting yourself as you are. It helps you to grow into a better person and come to terms with your strengths and limitations. This process also reduces the chances of the occurrence of self-dishonesty. But for anyone who has tried self-acceptance, it is clear that you must exert a lot of effort to accept yourself. And the whole process might leave you wondering why self-acceptance is so hard. Here are some of the most common reasons why people find it difficult to accept themselves.

Why is self-acceptance so hard?

1. You desire perfection.

You might even consider self-acceptance an easy way out and reject the process. Ignoring your current self in your efforts to improve is considered admirable or ideal. But this couldn’t be further than the truth. Self-acceptance enlightens you on what actions to take as you become self-aware and helps you grow as a person. 

2. You might want to be someone else.

Many of us can’t accept ourselves since we are trying to live in the footsteps of our role models. While having someone to admire can motivate and give you a path to follow, losing yourself in the process isn’t recommendable.

3.  You think your negative inner self-talk is beneficial.

You may not accept yourself because you’re motivated by negative inner self-talk. You may even consider it a blessing. But having a negative outlook only serves to harm and leaves you dissatisfied, frustrated, or without any motivation in the long run.

Read more: What is negative bias?

4. You don’t want to forgive yourself.

Maybe you don’t want to accept yourself since there are some past actions you took that you regret and cannot forgive. Remember that shouldering these burdens wouldn’t change the past. You can only change your future activities and try to have a more sound judgment.

5. Your caretakers didn’t accept you as you are.

Every emotion we nurture is borrowed from our parents, guardians, or upbringing. Not receiving love or acceptance for who you are can leave you unable to accept yourself as an adult.

6. You’re not honest with yourself.

If you avoid soul searching or admitting your wrongdoings, you will have difficulty accepting yourself. There can be many reasons you aren’t or don’t want to be honest with yourself. You might be living according to someone else’s wishes or blindly following society.

How To Accept Yourself More?

Like any important skill, you can’t learn self-acceptance in a day. It requires practice, effort, and courage to accept yourself in your totality. To increase your self-acceptance, you can:-

-question your negative inner self-talk,
-take better care of your physical & mental health,
-develop supportive relationships with people who value you as you are,
-practice regular self-care activities to avoid burnout and relax,
-don’t try to be someone else,
-try to introspect, question your beliefs, and be more honest with yourself.
-understand that it’s okay not to be perfect,
-and increase your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Read more: 101 self-confidence quotes to embrace yourself.


Self-acceptance is accepting all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is coming to terms with your limitations, strengths, and weaknesses. To start accepting yourself, you need to start becoming healthier and taking better care of yourself. Here is a list of short-term mental health goals to get you started on the journey of embracing yourself.

For more information on self-acceptance, self-esteem, and better mental health, subscribe to Your Mental Health Pal.

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