Our generation has been spoonfed the idea of having the perfect closure for generations. For most of us, it might have started when Rachel from the popular sitcom Friends talked about getting closure in an episode. The idea is still the same – call your ex, tell them you are over them, and slam the phone without giving them a chance to say anything. And just like that, you have done the gutsy thing.
But what Rachel learned in the show in the following seasons and what all of us who have or will ever go through a loss understand is that closure is a myth. It is like those dreamy fairytale ideas that have been ingrained into us, and there is honestly no correct answer on how to get closure.
There are so many times in life when we need to find a logical conclusion and ending in things. We desperately seek answers on how to get closure because we need a reason to blame for the pain we are feeling.
But unfortunately, relying on your ex-partner for closure might not be the most effective thing to mend your broken heart. This is because you can find closure within yourself too. To help you get started on the journey of moving forward, here are some of the easiest and least intimidating tips on how to get closure within yourself.
How To Get Closure Within Yourself?
1. Understand What Closure Is To You.
Closure is like a complete answer to everyone’s problem, but what does it actually mean?
While you might desperately seek closure, you can still be utterly unsure about what that means. Therefore, sit down with yourself and ask what you seek from this closure. Give yourself time to answer without judgment.
Maybe you feel the need for closure because you experience a lack of self-identity or loneliness. Perhaps it is because you feel a need to belong or void after the relationship ends.
This is why once you understand the reason behind your desire for closure, you can start addressing those needs instead of stressing about closure.
2. Forgive Them And Yourself.
One of the most effective tips on how to get closure is to be able to forgive the other person and yourself for whatever transpired during this time. You will never find enough space for hope and positivity if you keep harboring negative or unpleasant emotions for them or yourself.
Moreover, forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It does not mean you are okay with their actions and how they made you feel. It is solely meant for you and your mental peace. It is essential that you take charge of your emotions and choose carefully what you want to hold as you move forward.
3. Rediscover yourself and your self-worth.
Breakups are hard, especially on the ideas of ourselves and our self-worth. They can make us doubt ourselves constantly. It might hamper your personal and professional life as you might start second-guessing yourself at every moment.
This is why another tip on how to get closure is to rediscover yourself and your self-worth. It is important to detach your identity from your past relationship and not let it define you.
To redefine your self-worth, focus on your needs, wants, and desires. Focus on things that make you feel good. Moreover, pay attention to how you talk to yourself and try to infuse positive affirmations into it.
We have all been taught that finding closure is the right way to move on from a broken relationship. Therefore, we all desperately try to find answers on how to get closure without ever truly understanding what it means. We hope this post will help you figure out your idea of closure and finally put you on the right path to achieve it.
Still looking to figure out how to deal with a breakup?
We have the perfect solution for you – the Ultimate Breakup Workbook. Filled with worksheets, guided journal prompts, and thoughtful reminders, this is your ideal breakup companion. Get your copy today.
To continue learning about mental health daily, subscribe to Your Mental Health Pal.